Beware, JoCo homeowners: Windows 10 is the lap dance of laptops.

Beware, JoCo homeowners: Windows 10 is the lap dance of laptops.

Dear JoCo homeowner or business owner: Warning!  I backed out of the so-called “free” upgrade to Windows 10.  Should you?

So there I was, getting ready to post to this new blog, and it sure sounded good—after all, I am a happy Windows 7 gal.  I have two PCs that use Windows 7.  Unless we are talking clothing, a 10 sure sounds more attractive than a 7.  Let’s not go there.  Surely Microsoft has my best interests at heart.  They’re not greedy like Apple.  To get my attention, Microsoft completely skipped over the 9.  All Version 7’s and Version 8’s including 8.1  would get a “free upgrade to Windows 10”!  (That skipping the 9 was a genius marketing move, by the way.  That’s called a disruptor in brain theory.  Counting up sequentially, 7,8,9,10 is so rote.  The long plod of techno history.  One version at a time, like the Bataan Death March until the robots wipe us out.  But Eureka, by skipping the 9—now your Broca’s Area—the Great Decider or Procrastinator living in  your pre-frontal cortex-- is wide awake, begging you to tell it more…)

What Microsoft soft-peddled was, version 10 of Windows MAY ONLY FREE FOR THE FIRST YEAR!  It’s like pre-marital sex.  Windows 10 is the lap dance of laptops.  Because after the free year, then when you are all entangled and committed, and can’t really go back to your old life without a lawyer’s help, then they may hit you up for an estimated $129 a year.  Forever.  Opinions differ on this, including Forbes.  But certainly, added features will be monetized.  

Luckily, whilst I was bragging to web designer and SEO optimizer Rick Peterson at Brand Central who was finishing up the design of this blog, JoCoPost, he alerted me to the questions I should have asked from the gitgo.  Is free really free?  Is it just a tease?  A free temporary upgrade?  And more importantly, is what you are using currently working?  I concluded, my Mom’s Iowegian advice  was right: If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.   

So I backed out of the Windows 10 upgrade, right when they got to the vows of Till Death Do Us Part.  In fact, I just now went to NewEgg.com and bought yet another registered Windows 7 HP laptop, for $214.  So much for Kansas not having the tax-free weekend while Missouri is gobbling up sales.

And I won't even mention Windows 10's spyware.  Bring back Edward Snowden, please.

Windows 10 does have some advantages.  It takes the very unhappy Windows 8 people back to the features they loved and lost, when they left Windows 7.  So it's kinda like getting divorced and then dating your high school sweetheart. 

Now you 8's are really in a quandary.  Unless you have a touch screen, Windows 8 is sucky.  So go back or go forward.  Just be informed.  Liberty personal injury attorney Julie Cooper says, "I'm divorcing the 8 I hate, so I have to upgrade to 10.  I also hope to use Cortana for dictating the 200 emails I get daily."

I’ve heard of Cortana.  But like 66% of Americans, I much prefer Google’s search engine.  And Google Chrome.  Is it so important for me to hear a woman’s voice that I would divorce myself from saying, ”OK Google”??  With Windows 10, I'd be constantly badgered into marrying into Bing, which is Cortana’s tribe.  So what sounded so great initially is really a big decision.  Would I move from Johnson County back to KCMO, just because I found an attractive house with a granite kitchen?  BING-O: Heck no.   

Now I can’t just blame the Kansas City Star for not analyzing this news.  Nobody reads it, especially here in Johnson County, where they no longer cover the local news or publish a zone section.  I only read it free, online—and only after someone calls me to check a story of interest.  And they’ve let go all of their best reporters, from 2000 employees now to around 500, including the reporters with tech beats who might have done this story.  Nor can I blame the local TV stations—after all, their average story length is now about 45 seconds, max 70 seconds.  And as my favorite video editor at Channel 9, KMBC.com, John Crumley, says, “If the story isn’t weather related, or there’s a crime or a fire, it probably won’t make the air.”   So, unless Jon Stewart had told me, before he retired from the Daily Show (moment of silence here), then how was I to know?  It wasn’t in Vanity Fair.  I checked.

But wait, there's more.  Let’s put a pencil to the cost of this, just for OUR county.  Someone do the math and comment here, please.  Do your part to support the citizens and businesses in Johnson County.   How many homeowners are there in Johnson County?  Assume 90% of them own at least one PC, hence Windows.  Ditto for the businesses here.  Assume five PC’s per business there.  Now multiply every PC by $129 a year.  (That’s about double the increase the BOCC/Johnson County Commission is going to increase your property taxes each year—another needless cost, but that’s another blog post.)

So please share this post with your neighbors, colleagues and family.  Including those out of town, or still in KCMO (my favorite place to visit).  And sign up to receive these JoCoPost.com blog posts.  Let’s all stick together.  Till the robots wipe us out.  Or the second big comet hits the Earth.  Now THAT will make Channel 9’s newscast.