He is a double 1%'er. So rich he is high up in the 1% of America's wealthy. The source of that is was smart enough to marry Sam Walton's sister. So Stan and Ann own 1% of all Walmart stock.
Hey, maybe we will see Stan tonight, at 6pm, as your local Walmart drags all their employees in from Thanksgiving dinner for a jump start on Black Friday.
Memo to Stan's employees: "No pie for YOU! Clock in by 4pm or lose your job."
We probably won't see Stan at the store. Stan Kroenke is not driving down Metcalf to survey what his unrelenting selfish greed has done. He's also not driving around downtown St. Louis, where he is abandoning his team, the St. Louis Rams, to take an even BIGGER tax handout by moving his team to LA.
Nope, Stan is said to be enjoying some deviled eggs at his $21 million home in Aspen, Colorado. He is the richest homeowner with the biggest damn house in Aspen. That's what greed do.
Now let me tell you about Kroenke's deviled eggs. It is way too much trouble to boil one's eggs. Or have to practice your Spanish so you can tell your third-world chef how to do that. The truly rich start halfway to the finish line--get your hard-boiled eggs at Costco--they're already peeled!
Just slice in half, remove the yolks, (perfectly centered? Or are those yolks leaning far to the right???) Being collosally wealthy has its travails.
Mash up the yolks in a $1000 blender, add mustard and some mayo--the good Hellman's kind, not that Berman's crap from Aldi, plop back in, or use a cake-decorator pipe to do it up right. And for God's sake, sprinkle with paprika or caviar BEFORE you artfully arrange on some $200 designer platter. Nothing says middle class like spillage on the platter. And no cleaning the outlines around the deviled eggs by licking the spillage with your finger.
Here's Stan's tough dilemma this month: does he have his chef buy the organic hardboiled peeled eggs, for $8.79 or the regular eggs, which are just $5.99 at Costco?
We all know what Stan Kroenke did. He bought the organic. The motto of every 1%'er is this:
Why spend more when you can spend a great deal more???!
Because he and his loyal knave, Owen Donahue from Lane4, are just biding their time, waiting for the city of Overland Park to cave in, and give him tax abatements, and Sam Brownback and the state of Kansas, to give him STAR bonds. For that, he'd be required to build some stupid qualifying special attraction, eg a "water feature" in the parking lot at the former Metcalf South.
The last drawing showed a fountain the size of an above ground pool in KCK. woohoo! Last one into the fountain is a rotten egg!
Now that was a nice read, truthful and funny to boot.
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